I know he feels more for her rather than me. I'm different from her. Somehow it puzzles me, because we claim that there's purely nothing between us, but I refuse to believe it. I felt the slightest spark of attraction between us. Was it me, only? I could feel that you felt it, too.

Was it my imagination? Maybe it was. I cannot comprehend it. I could only watch you from afar, pretending to be ignorant about you. We were so close back then, but now, we're merely strangers. Nothing more than that. I don't want you to hear my voice. I want to stay unheard, because I've had enough of uncertainties.

I think I gave in more than you did. You said you treated me like a sister, while I gave in more than I ever expected. I gave you a whole lot more love, but in the end, it never returned back. Time's running out.. I don't have much time left because we are parting for our own ways very soon.

I really hoped that we could be more than what we are right now. We don't have time. I have uncertainties running in my head, and I'm torn between decisions and my rationality. I hated that fact that I gave in more than you did.

Maybe you have moved on, and I'm still stuck at my same spot. I refuse to move on because I kept the faith and continued to believe that we could work everything out. But.. days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. And months turned to years. So much of things had changed, and I began to realize that I'm pursuing something absurd.. something frivolous.

It all seemed that I was actually living a lie all these while. Living in denial, in this case of one-sided.. infatuation.

I kept believing.. and that actually ruined a part of me.

Now, I have no choice but to pick up the bits and pieces of something that has broken. Something that seemed so insignificant.

I don't want to drown myself in tears, or alcohol. I don't want to do this anymore. Everytime I walk out of the door, I screech to a halt, because I want to look back.

But I have to let go...