I'm so stressed up, I don't know how long I can take this anymore. Everyday gets tougher, and every second becomes a drag that I don't want to ever go through again. I'm depressed, angry and frustrated at things that I cannot change. Life's so crappy these days that I doubt whether I can continue living like this, despite the initial determination I had. But, why? I question ; but there are no answers, only more doubts, more frustration.

I'm human. There are certain things I can bear, and yet, there are certain things will eventually wear me out. I'm fed up, I'm just too annoyed with the situation right now. Initially I thought I could get over it, but then, living everyday, with unlucky (I presume) encounters, it only adds salt to the wound.

I'm going to rant it all out today. With profanity, because there are no other words that can describe my current fucked up situation I'm in now.

Why is my life so pathetic? Most of you think that I lead a pretty decent life, yes, pretty true, but there's definitely more than that.

Because one fucked up bastard ruined it, as simple as that, and I can't help but blame myself for all the shit that has happened. Poking fun, talking as if he is one hell of a great man, sometimes I wished I could seriously aim a gun on his empty head and tell him to fuck off and stop degrading me.

The blatant lies and the stupid shit that he comes up with are like poisonous candies. You think it tastes good, but when you have a taste of it, its literally choking you to death. It has only been 2 and a half months, and I am in fact embarrassed to say that this person here has no humility. He keeps degrading people, acting as if he has an upper hand, looking down and poking fun at innocent people.

It's so stupid, he inflicts himself with stupid excuses and blames it all on us WTF. It doesn't make sense at all, but perhaps only unsensible people like him can only come up with this old shit. Thanks to him (he must be smiling with glee) that he has left a deep impact in my life, a bad scar, that I will never forget. He definitely has issues, some issues that I don't think he would even solve in millenniums.

I can't take it, I'm just an ordinary person asking for an ordinary life after all. Is that too much to ask? If cursing brings bad karma to me, why would I bother doing that? It is because I hate him so much that I need some air to breathe.

The worse thing is, I can't avoid nor settle this shit. This matter isn't any Rubik Cube, its so complicated that I am already in this tangled mess. It is too late to regret or even ponder the questions. My life's practically in a total topsy-turvy mode, and the worse part is, seeing it getting worse without doing anything to make it better.

To that special person whom I 'adore' so much, I just want to say,
Stop playing with people's feelings, and stop fingering them. You think you are a hell of a great, but your stupidity will bring you down, more haters, more enemies. You act as if you don't care, you can laugh it off, but then, whatever you do will come around one day.

Its impossible to make me 'like' you, or even treat you as someone I would respect. You don't seem to respect, your actions are louder than words. So, I don't see a point for me to respect you.

I don't wanna have any relations with you. I don't want to talk to you except for official reasons.

Because you're simply a bastard, a prick who doesn't seem to understand and be considerate of other people's feelings. You're just self-centred, conceited and irritating.

Go on being like this, as far as I am concerned, it is none of my business. You want to continue being a fucker, then go ahead. Fuck off.

Done ranting.